My Dark Night of the Soul Journey, the Birth of Somatic Awakening, and the Vision of Spiritual Initiation

Although I do have a lot of training, one of the core aspects of my healer/mystic heart has come from a decade long dark night of the soul experience.

This experience ripped me from many of my identifications, which included being married, being a director of an academic program, and one who was financially secure.

However, what was most difficult was that, because of my ability to walk between the worlds, I was thrown into navigating the memories of a multitude of traumatic past lives over thousands of years. This process started years earlier, but now escalated to that point that there was no escaping it. This experience was gut-wrenching and I definitely spent my share of days living in unwashed sweats and crying into a bowl of ranch-flavored kale chips.

Seriously, though I had many memories of lifetimes as a healer, wise woman, priestess and more thrown into violence, trauma, abuse, programming, and torture. I walked through what felt broken and lost over eons.

My experience spanned beyond my own past-lives and into the collective unconscious. I had a felt/lived memory of how violent the patriarchy has been in relation to women in their power.

This journey brought me to my knees.

In 2008, in the midst of this journey, I was awakened in the middle of the night by Divine Mother Sophia and was told, after a profound life-changing healing, that I am of the Order of the Magdalene. Not knowing what exactly that meant I started opening more to spiritual guidance and surrender.

Although, I felt spiritually supported, I was also in extraordinary emotional and somatic pain. It seemed my only option was to surrender even more into the arms of the Divine.

As I learned how to trust to this surrender I was cracked open to the divine grace which birthed Somatic Awakening®. Through this grace, I was taught how to bring healing and wholeness into that which seemed beyond repair.

I found that if I stayed with my pain from the place of my Higher Self Witness Consciousness and in a powerful relationship to it, that it would transform, seemingly dissolve and heal. Through this process, I started healing the multiple layers of pain inside of me.

Shortly thereafter, I found myself at a meditation retreat and the emotional pain increased to an excruciating level. Knowing I could trust divine grace I called on it with every single shred of my being. I stayed with the pain over a period of days. I did not turn away no matter how painful. I trusted that healing would happen.

And, I received much more than healing.

I was on my knees and about ready to give up. Then all of a sudden…everything changed.

The darkness turned into a blinding white light that was coming from my womb. The light was so bright I could barely behold it. And the booming voice, of Divine Mother Sophia, thundered in my head.

She said,

“I Am Here. I Have Always Been Here.

And, I Will Always Be With You.

Everything You Experience…I Experience.

I Am One With You.

And I Love You Unconditionally”.

I was so broken open by Her Love that was pouring out from this light I was speechless…all I could do was weep tears of relief, joy, exhilaration, and oneness.

Basking in Her Love and feeling Her voice and energy come from within me was beyond what I could even comprehend.

That day I found the Divine within me and since then everything has changed.

This was the birthplace of Somatic Awakening®.

This journey culminated in an awakening and embodiment journey led by ascended masters that is still unfolding to this day.

The Vision of Spiritual Initiation

As the Dark Night of the Soul experience was moving toward an end, I was again awakened in the middle of the night. This time with a vision of Yeshua (Jesus) and Mary Magdalene.

They came to me and told me that it was time to walk through a deep spiritual initiation and to remember the essence of who I truly am. I was shown that I needed to live in my daily life the knowing of my divine nature, that we are all divine beings, and that I am to help others remember their true essence.

After this vision I went into many powerful initiatory experiences, that lasted for years.

These initiation experiences opened me to multiple levels of awakening and then multiple levels of embodying this awakening into my being.

It is not done. Awakening and embodiment is a process. I have found that the more trauma one has to walk through, the longer the process. And, I am healing thousands of years of trauma for myself and (for whatever extent is in right alignment) for the collective, especially the collective wounding that lives in the feminine unconscious. But, I’m clearer than ever and Sophia Divine Mother walks with me on a daily level.

As I step into living the vision I was given, I have been honed to be a conduit of healing and divine grace. For I am walking the shaman’s path of becoming a Hollow Bone. This is an indigenous term meaning a clearing out of the subconscious mind and integration of the ego; so that one may become a conduit for spirit.

Now as the light has met the dark and the dark has met the light, a power has risen inside of me, and I am being asked to share this healing light with the world so that we can step into our full divine potential with love and joy at the center.

I have been called now to step fully into what is mine to do… which is to shine this light out into the world with the birthing of Sophia Healing Academy, with the powerful mind-body-spirit modality and Divine Feminine Spiritual Practice Somatic Awakening® at the center.

What Does this Mean For You?

Are you wanting to deeply unravel the painful contractions of trauma in your being so that you feel better inside and are free?

Are you longing to navigate the waters of your deep terrain so you may step into potent healing and awakening? And, perhaps even share this path of healing and awakening with the world?

Are you ready to stand in the true nature of your being which is infinitely brilliant, completely whole, and incredibly powerful?

If so, I am overjoyed to help you take your next steps on your path.

It brings me great joy to see others open and heal in this way. When I hold this expansive space, I feel like a cosmic gardener, pruning and tending their being.

With humility, compassion, and patience, I invite you onto this path so that you too can step into who you truly are.