*This is an edited version of a blog published back in Feb. 2019. I re-publish it here because so many have been struggling with this topic over the last few weeks. The voice of “I’m not good enough” is a core wound in our western culture and it seems that we could all use some extra support in our journey to fully loving ourselves.
When we truly love ourselves we have the ability to navigate our lives with nurturing care. When we make a mistake or something goes wrong we have the capacity to not only give ourselves a break but also offer ourselves compassion. Even more significantly we have the ability to hold ourselves with an unshakeable understanding that we are worthy of love. In this deep knowing, we open the door of receiving the bounty of our own love, as well as love from others. We also are able to fully receive the love from the Divine that opens us to our deepest healing, awakening, and knowing our true divine nature.
Self-love and self-compassion are two of the most single important steps that we can take in our healing and evolution. But, often I hear from baffled patients and students, “How can I really step into loving myself”?
This is such a good question because how can we love ourselves when internally we have negative voices running that say things like, “I’m just not good enough”, “Deep down inside I feel tainted” or “I have to work extra hard to get love because I’m just not lovable”.
Trying to Get Love “Out There”
It is a setup for disaster when you make yourself into a pretzel to get love from “out there” to try to placate and calm your negative internal voices.
Even if you find the perfect love “out there” no one can ever give you enough love to satisfy the deep well of not good enough.
In order to truly love yourself, you need to love and have compassion for ALL parts of yourself, especially the aspects that don’t feel good enough, are mean, or feel even brutal.
I have found that through my many years of practice very few people actually feel the true power of loving themselves.
Do you? Do you love yourself as much as you love the people who are most dear to you in your life? Do you feel madly in love with who you are?
If you said no, you are not alone.
How Do We Truly Love Ourselves?
There are many great practices out there that can help you open the door to self-love. Such as the practice of looking in the mirror and practicing loving what you see or naming and bringing love to the parts of self that you already like.
But, truly loving yourself means that you need to love all parts of yourself. Not just the aspects of you that you easily like. Somatic Awakening® is a practice that helps you do just that.
Somatic Awakening® helps you align to the river of divine love and compassion from your higher self which offers powerful stabilization and love to the parts that have been in lockdown and hiding in the closet of your subconscious…all of the parts of you that desperately need your love.
For in truly opening to love and compassion you show up to the parts that are the most difficult, such as the voices that are self-judgmental, harshly authoritarian, terrified, and collapsed, as well as the most vicious, the voice of self-hatred.
For many, you might find yourself negating these comments and saying, “Oh, this is not me”. However, I encourage you to really step back and take a good long look at yourself. How often do you judge yourself? How often do you have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach conveying the feeling that you are not good enough?
These Voices Are Imprinted Upon Us
These negative voices are virulent imprints from the collective unconscious of our society; they are inherited through our experiences with our family, created as a response to trauma, socialized in us from living in our culture, and they travel with us from experiences in our past lives.
Wherever they come from we know them because we feel terrible when these parts are running. They treat us in the most unloving ways. You probably wouldn’t even hang out with others who treat you this terribly. Yet these voices that treat you rotten arise from within you. How can you step into knowing yourself as a being deeply worthy of love with these voices running?
You don’t find your way out of the traps of negative self-talk by judging or critiquing the voices back. They are doing a very good job of that already.
Your Way Out…
Your way out is to first align to the aspects of you that are already connected to love…your own heart and especially your higher self. With these parts engaged you then align these loving and compassionate aspects of self to the parts that believe they are not loved…and worse. It is here that these hurtful parts of self begin to heal through the light of loving acceptance.
Your higher self HAS THE ABILITY to fully see these parts, to put them at ease, to offer them the support they need, and help them remember that no matter what has happened that they are loved and are connected to the higher consciousness of the Divine. When these parts that have been so hurt start to deeply trust this process they then come back home to receiving and knowing that they are loved too. It is here that they begin to powerfully heal and are no longer running such hurtful negativity in your life!
What I am suggesting here is a process that in my thirty years in the field of healing I haven’t come across anything else that so significantly heals our being, even the most difficult and hurtful voices that squelch our very life force.
As a sovereign being engaging your free will consciousness you have the Divine Right to Claim and Love ALL parts of your being and bring them back home into the loving arms of your spirit.
And, when Divine Love fully shows up to the most hurt parts…the only thing standing in the way of the parts full healing is their ability to trust that this Love Is Real. With the sustaining power of your higher self which loves unconditionally and for as long as the part needs…it is only a matter of time before these hurtful parts realize and trust that this love is real and that they is worthy of receiving this love. As it does the negative energy that it holds dissolves into the Ocean of Divine Love.
This is the way to heal even the most difficult and hurtful parts inside of us. This is the way to freedom and truly loving ourselves.
To find out more about how to engage in the practice of higher self-healing I recommend listening to the Infusions of Light Podcast: The Power of Your Higher Self to Heal Your Life Episode 2.
*To get to this podcast click on the link above, scroll down to the end of the first page, click “older entries”, and then scroll down to Episode 2.
May the ocean of divine love that has the ability to heal the deepest wounds…bless your being, your life, and all of the parts that say you are not love…so that they too can come back home to healing.
In Divine Love and Blessings,