As I prepare for the upcoming event Transform the Victim-Victimizer Paradigm an important question keeps arising: What is the core of this paradigm and how can we truly heal it? I have been in inquiry and dialogue about this with myself and others. And, one central theme keeps arising and that is work with the trauma triangle (aka the drama triangle).
The Trauma Triangle
Forty years ago Dr. Stephen Karpman originally developed this framework. This triangle consists of the victim, victimizer (aka persecutor or perpetrator), and the rescuer (aka savior). In essence, these three “parts” of one’s psyche are the most common aspects that get engaged in our subconscious after we have experienced trauma. This happens because after we go through a traumatic experience our subconscious comes up with a multitude of ways in which it tries to protect itself from the negative feelings of this trauma. And, these three are the most frequent aspects that arise from our subconscious. However, if you look around you can easily see that these three parts are and have been playing out on the global stage for eons with disastrous consequences.
It has been found that humans have a tendency to most identified with one of these ways of being in our psyche, but it is common to eventually, rotate through all three. But, until we are aware that this triangle is playing out inside of us and bring healing to it, we will continue to be caught in it like an animal caught in a trap.
To be clear I am presenting this here to bring awareness and healing, not to invite you to engage in self-judgment. So let me say it again…if you find that you are running one or more of these ways of being in your life and have a history of trauma…this is normal! Yes, these parts need healing because underneath them lies the pain of the traumatic past experience. So, please don’t try to judge and “should” these parts away. What they really need is healing and love. And, opening to this healing love is one of the deepest intentions of the upcoming event, ritual, and activation discussed below.
The drama/trauma triangle is delineated below. But, keep in mind I am not defining people. I am defining “subconscious parts”. In other words, you could be running one or more of these ways of being but, these parts are NOT ultimately who you are. Also, these parts could be running underneath the level of your conscious mind, so they could be running and you have no conscious idea of them. So, notice what feelings arise inside when you read about them below.
Those running victim consciousness see themselves in the light of the “poor me” perspective and are always looking around the corner because they believe that “everything is going to fall apart” and believe that others ultimately are going to hurt them. They usually see themselves as helpless, hopeless, dejected, and powerless. These parts of self usually want to hide in a corner and have no interest in taking responsibility for themselves. They are also usually looking for a rescuer/savior to save them and when they perceive a person as a savior who doesn’t or refuses to save them they often will see this person as a perpetrator/victimizer.
The victimizer has the belief that they must shield themselves from others by being a bully, threatening, and having a power-over mentality to stay in charge to protect themselves. They often have the stance of, “It’s not my fault, it’s your fault”. They can be blaming, critical, mean, and threatening. They also typically set strict limits, can be controlling, rigid and authoritative. They protect themselves further by being inflexible, not vulnerable, and not showing the true feelings of their heart.
This aspect of the subconscious finds it’s identity in helping others. This is the co-dependent enablers who need others who are stuck in victim mentality to “save”. In essence they gain a positive identity by seeing themselves as the one who is “needed” by others in order to be the “knight in shining armor” or the epitome of the “martyr” who gives themselves away to others to the point that they do not honor the needs of themselves and their lives. They often feel overwhelmed, harried, and overworked.
The Pay Off
Each role in the trauma/drama triangle has a way in which it supports us. Victims get to be taken care of. Rescuers get to feel important and utilized in regard to helping others. Victimizers get to remain in control and feel superior to the others.
However, there is a cost to perpetuating this. The cost is that these aspects of being don’t allow us to have real relationships in present time because the subconscious is more focused on acting out the triangle and less on being real, vulnerable, and allowing themselves to fully show up in loving relationships.
The cost is that these ways of being cut us off from our heart, spirit and ultimately cause (and have caused) extreme havoc in the world.
Groups of victims have experienced genocide, oppression, imprisonment and/or have been enslaved. They feel bitter, belittled and disempowered and do not feel like they have the ability to exert their true power in the world.
Groups of victimizers often have been oppressed as a group and now are aligning with being victimizers/perpetrators against their oppressors (or those they fear) in order to feel powerful and prevent oppression from happening again. However, this causes more pain and suffering in the world.
Groups of rescuers engage in trying to help prevent suffering but can get lost in their own agendas, giving themselves away, subconsciously disempowering victims, or become self-righteous in the process. Thus they offer help, but ultimately they can get lost in their own agendas, are not really empowering others or themselves in stepping out of this painful triangle.
Healing the Core of the Triangle
Until we get to the core of healing we will be caught in this triangle.
We take our first step toward this healing by waking up to and becoming conscious of what we are doing. With this, we begin the process of saying no to playing these roles with yourself and with others.
However, the most significant healing happens when we look at the backbone of this triangle and see that it is ultimately fueled by the mentality of the victim. Because when we go through trauma we all will feel victimized…whether we want to admit it or not. The victim is the receiver of the trauma. And, if we have received trauma then we all have been the victim. And, let’s admit it, being a victim feels terrible…one feels trapped, stuck, in pain, and disempowered. Some get stuck here. Whereas others find the subconscious aspects of the victimizer and rescuer to help them feel better, a facade of being more empowered. But, truly none of these ways feel good to ourselves or to those around us.
The core of healing is ultimately to address the victim that lives inside of us. When we truly bring healing here the whole thing collapses.
Bringing healing here is one of the most freeing things that you can do for yourself. Because ultimately it takes your lifeforce out of the trauma triangle and you are then freed from suffering!
The most powerful thing I have discovered to bring healing to these painful aspects of self, and to the entire triangle, is to connect these hurtful parts of self directly to the aspect of us that can heal it…namely our higher self witness consciousness. This part of us has the ability to bring healing to all aspects of ourselves that need healing from a place of power, presence, and love. This part of ourselves is an absolute game changer. The witness arises from our higher self and opens us directly to our own divine connection within and without. (For more information please read my free e-book The Four Golden Keys to Healing: Utilizing Your Higher Self to Heal Your Deepest Wounds with Somatic Awakening®. Which is my gift to you if you register for the Victim-Victimizer Paradigm event coming up on Friday, June 21st see below for more details)
As Jesus said, “The kingdom of God is inside of us”. I believe that this significant teaching of Jesus shows us clearly that divinity is inside of us. This also means that we have everything that we need inside of us to heal, including the ability to heal this triangle by directly addressing the victim (and all of the aspects of the triangle) inside of us. For as we bring the light of our divine higher self in direct relationship to that which believes it is less than, hurt, and stuck in suffering..we deeply heal ourselves and become a beacon of change and healing for the world.
All we have to do is say yes…and watch it unfold. We don’t have to figure out how it will happen in our lives, in the world, or on what timeline it will happen on. All we have to do is say yes to this light. It truly has the power to heal everything with love, understanding, compassion, and forgiveness. The more we do this the more it has the power to turn the tide of our life and our world.
We will powerfully be opening the door to this portal of healing at the upcoming FREE event, ritual, and activation:
Transform the Victim-Victimizer Paradigm
This Summer Solstice, Friday, June 21st, 12:00-1:30 PM PST.
If you haven’t signed up for this event yet I invite you to do so now. Stand with us in opening the door for this healing transformation. A door that once opened will continue to shine its light of healing in your life, into the world, and fill the collective consciousness of humanity with love, grace, and miraculous healing.
Join with me and the three other incredible priestesses, Anaiya Sophia, Maria Owl Gutierrez, and Christel Arcucci, as well as numerous other Higher Dimensional Helpers, Ascended Masters, and Archangelic/Angelic guides (as well as almost a dozen space holders, who will be holding the container for us in love and protection) for what I feel will truly be an incredible online activation and ritual. (Recording available for those who can’t join live). Oh, and did I mention it’s absolutely FREE!
To find out more and to register click here:
PLEASE, SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS!
WE NEED AS MANY ALIGNED LIGHTWORKERS AND CHANGE AGENTS AS POSSIBLE TO JOIN US TO SOLIDIFY THIS TRANSFORMATION.
*To read more about this triangle, how it plays out on the world stage, as well as to experience a powerful exercise regarding it check out another blog that Maria Christina Owl just wrote about it at: